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Wednesday
May252011

The Dreaded Question

We opened the cabin this past weekend. I always love our first weekend. It's a sign that Summer is finally here. Our cabin is on an island in northeast Michigan. We bought the property 23 years ago after literally finding it listed for sale on the back of a paper plate at a restaurant/real estate office. Our hideaway would be considered by few as "roughing it", meaning we don't have electricity, city water or even a well. What we do have is propane that runs a refrigerator, stove and hot water tank. Water is pumped from the lake and used for showers and dishes. I consider this paradise and one of  my favorite places on earth.
As with every opening weekend, we always find something that mysteriously broke over the winter. This year it was our water system. This elaborate system consists of a water pump, generator, pipe and a water pressure tank (I'm sure there's more to it, but that's not my department). After we (I say we but I really mean Anthony), hooked up the system and had it ready to go, we turned on the faucets and felt the cool sensation of air. Something was obviously wrong. No surprise, we've been struggling with our water setup  for some time now. After many years of making it work "good enough", we made the decision to hire a plumber and have it fixed once and for all.
Harry Henry, yes that is his name, arrived by boat. Mind you, northeast Michigan is much different than the rest of the state. It is, and I mean this as a compliment, very simple. The people are all very nice. Picture a 1950's backdrop with a 1970's hard-rock population and of course, an occasional mullet. Our plumber was a sweet man who really seemed to know his stuff.
As Anthony was showing him around and familiarizing him with our "system", I as normal stayed clear. I have nothing to add to that kind of conversation. All I can say are things like "it sort of sounds like it's working, but it isn't" or "isn't it nice out?" So, I decided it was best to sit on the porch with my dogs on my lap and read a play that I've been trying to finish. I should add I had a cozy blanket wrapped snug around me. Needless to say, not the most macho of images.
As the two of them made their way toward the house, Anthony excused himself for a minute and left me alone with the plumber. I had two choices, continue to read and pet my dogs or try to be a little social and make eye contact. As it turns out, I didn't have to make the decision, suddenly I hear "did you leave the wife at home this weekend?". WHAT?  My inside voice had lots of witty comebacks. My outside voice, however could not come up with anything. The best I  could muster, which made absolutely no sense was "wanna a beer?". What was I thinking, we didn't even have beer. I hate beer. I could have at least offered him a martini or a scotch. At least I could have followed through if he took me up on it.
I'm not sure what it was that made this guy think I had a wife. I mean, come on, two designer dogs, sipping coffee, a play (better yet, a musical)  and a Ralph Lauren blanket. Really, do the math. I don't know why I get so nervous when cornered with these sort of questions. I could have replied, "actually, I don't have a wife, I have a partner...." or "no, she's here with me", or "funny thing you should ask, you see, I'm GAY". I think this is a quandary many gay people find themselves in. When someone assumes you're straight, do you correct them or just ignore it? I'm lucky to live in a pretty acceptable surrounding, but sometimes you just have to be smart and know your audience.
Lesson learned-Always keep beer on hand.

Reader Comments (4)

Correct them in a polite way.
Next time say you have a partner and give them the glass of scotch with a smile.

May 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterunspokenloveblog

I had to laugh out loud..."Wanna beer?" Seems to me this type of gentleman in those surroundings doesn't need to know, or might not want to know and maybe wouldn't even understand the truth. "Wanna beer?" Perfect answer in my opinion, other than not having any of course!

May 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I love your blog name. It suits you to a "T"! I will look forward to reading every entry that you post. AND I love your writing style, it's so conversational and easy going. And I DID laugh- a lot. You are wonderfully descriptive and I could picture the whole encounter with the plumber.

May 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Nika

He must have left his gaydar at home.

May 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRima

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